Feeling Confused + Uncomfortable with the New Reality of our Life / World ?

As we all are feeling disoriented by the current state of events in our entire world, what are we doing with this discomfort ?Fill in the blanks….

Dancing around it not wanting to touch it ? Yes, thats me !

Sub pressing it with habits that ignore the discomfort ? Thats me again !

Blank and lonely given the lack of human physical connection ? YES YES YES !!!!!!

All of this is painful, and scary. Ive been on the waves riding the range of all my default modes of how to face and manage adversity , discomfort , fear, and un-safety. i can hide by being productive , committed to not letting this break me, proactive and have a chronic positive mindset amidst the middle of the storm. This all worked in my fast paced life. And i was proud of my resilience.

And now , Never have i ever had so much time to “ sit “ in the discomfort and new reality of i have no where to go and hide. Facing this discomfort is the gift of this paradigm shift our universe is providing. The reality is this… We have choices, how to live and what we believe to follow. And the place to leap forward and embrace at this time is relationship to yourself, others around you, and your greater world. How ???? we have never had more than tools and a few models that i found to limit my ability to jump in, without feeling safe enough and in control of my own inner growth. no more looking to others to fix or guide you. you can guide yourself in what you are needing to feel safe, release the stressors, fear and anxiety that we all experience in our life.

Design your own emotional operating iOS with the emoto io model that allows you to take control of these intangible feelings, thoughts and sensations we are all unsure of what to do.

emoto puts you at the center of your world. and check out the model and lessons page to get started !

imprinting your mark

now more than ever we need to understand ourselves and the impact we have on others. why ? either you are leaving a positive mark or a negative mark and you are responsible for that. Within your self ( by either processing the stress reactions we are experiencing with this pandemics uncertainty and drastic measures to our daily life ) , in connection to others ( you are wither taking out those stressors on others, blaming, shaming or thrusting anger on them ) or to our greater environment ( ignoring what earth truly needs from humans to allow it to provide for us a safe, healthy home for centuries to come minimizing our mark on this planet from consumption to daily interaction with it ; waste / and co-existeing with natures natural flow )

Are you surviving or thriving ?

Whats the point of life, to survive or thrive more often than not ? once you sift through defining success… either financial / power / recognition for a specific skill you excel in. Whats left ? your inner being. shifting from what are you doing to who are you being ?

I have spent so much of my life in survival energy.from real life threat to perceived. i have been quite resilient for a long time and proud of this feature of my ability to overcome such severe situations of life and death.

yet i have reached a point with no matter the 20 + years of emotional work and healing i have done and learned about… i still struggled with my mind + body connection which i needed to experience true thriving. i always had moments of experiencing this, yet never integration of it all.

this has stuck with me biologically hoarding stress responses ( triggers ) in my body that no longer serve me. From headaches, to back pain, to feeling stupid when facing achievement , to how to connect with my children and husband deeper. I knew it all in my head… and still had blockages that i couldn’t move past. This is how i jumped into nervous system work to connect my mine and body in order to integrate it all. its been messy… not easy.. and so enlightening of what i was missing for so long. i lived in autopilot with safety walls to never be hurt or vulnerable.

I was missing out on deep enjoyment of true fluid connection with myself and others / environment to reach thriving sensations. In the current state of the world… we are all surviving in this time of serious threat to our lives. our physical bodies, and our social emotional connection. This is traumatic. This shift in the paradigm is stress on our systems ( bodies and brains ) and what i’ve learned is the difference of surviving it ( which most of us will and shifting it to thriving ) is release the stressors arising as agile as possible from our bodies in order to not hoard and catalog this trauma for decades to come. i call this healthy resilience. It requires the awareness of how stress responses live in our bodies. not just our brain and how we think of the stressors but physically getting it out of our bodies. Stress usually takes us straight to our brain and how can we fix it. Sometimes there is nothing to fix while in survival mode…. its simply the act of being equipped with tools to sit in the shit of the feeling ( anxiousness, anger, confusion, anxiety of unknown ) long enough to be allow our nervous system we all possess is wise and knows how to naturally release the activation ( stress response ) its scary when you don’t have tools to do so … and the occasional movie vegging out and long walks helps. But to dive deeper… “ orienting “ to our selves and environment is the first step to this work.

It takes courage to flip the switch from surviving to thriving. WE all want this in our souls…. and also live in a system that doesn’t empower you… you must empower yourself.and usually emotions are last to be the missing link in thriving.

Surviving - remaining alive, continuing to live, fighting death

Thriving - to thrive is to do well or flourish. to flourish or grow vigorously, and it can be applied to something like a business or to something or someone's actual health.

We have experienced the roller coaster of life. Some good days, months and years. But we also experience the draining and less fortunate times where we feel dark emotions, and become unclear of where to lead next. This is life and i believe we can all thrive even on those rough patches.

How so…. by being in control of our life. The only way to feel in control is to feel safe within your own skin at all times no matter the challenge you are faced with.

I believe that given the clear acknowledgement and agility within the 5 dimensions of your emotional self. you will never to feel out of control again. and can build the capacity you yearn for to handle this thing called life and its stressors. This takes time, and takes the work. Facing the emotion and sensation you experience and apply releasing regulation tools to free yourself of that. Then redirect. We get sucked into so much “ easy outs” like foods, tv, social media, partying, hobbies and more.

There is power in awareness and noticing these hard moments head on. They allow you to live deeply, the range of expression of energy in our selves and environment. Without being afraid that it will suck you in, victimize you obligated to feel endless suffering.

I keep working on thriving rather than surviving.

OFF the GRID

Hello from my living room,

Are you connected with yourself, others or your world ? In this moment we are all experiencing deep emotions and sensations that require some attention. From stress release, to deep understanding of whats changing and what is this change costing us ?

There are headaches, body pains, moments of levity, binge watching TV and more… We are actively rewiring our body consciously or unconsciously…. our brains and bodies are feeling connection voids. How are you filling them up ? how are you handling the pain that is physically showing up ?

Trauma is stored in our inner operating system, and it is pivotal we get the healthy release necessary to relieve our bodies from this activation. Does not matter what it came from, what story is attached to this stress reaction you have. It is important to regulate and co-regulate if you have defendants in a healthy manner rather than unconsciously or subconsciously talking about it… and not biologically doing it.

Begin with “ orienting “ exercises, To allow your activated ( anxious / fear / sadness / anger ) reaction and sensation that can be disorienting , terrifying to stay present both in the mind thoughts and in the body and not run away to ease or suppress this experience. This noticing will free you… it seems small and insignificant yet very powerful. We all have some operating default modes.. and usually it is programmed from a young age to suppress rather than release.

DESIGN YOUR INTERNAL iOS

I notice we all have our unique rhythms that inform everything we think and feel. We all have natural rhythms and programed forced rhythms. We cannot differentiate both systems until we stop. Stop running around, stop and listen to our bodies not just out mind. Stop expectations and social pressures. This opens up all the muck that keep us in stress induced to dos and unhealthy operating systems. We yearn to be emotionally expressed and know what we need to be happy, and healthy in every aspect our our lives.

There is a natural inward and outward pattern we all have in our operating system. What the stillness of covid has uncovered is that our fabricated, go go go rhythms are killing us figuratively through our emotional loads unable to process properly at the speed in which we are expected to lead our daily lives. down to physically the manifestations of these unprocessed emotions ( usually stressors) are manifesting themselves in illness.

Covid has given us the gift of freedom, from the cages we may have been living in. intangible self/ socially imposed cages that we believed to be true.

I wonder what you are free from in SIP ( quarantine ) ?

What have you discovered is your natural rhythm of going inward ( checking in on yourself how your feeling) —-> to then going outward ( connecting to others and the greater world ) .

Was/ is it in a conscious manner ? Was/is it in a curious or defensive manner ?

Getting to know yourself, changes in our economical, daily schedule systems can be painful. The pain is the unconscious disconnected piece we are obligated to pursue to gain power and control in our world today.

ABOVE THE WATERS or BELOW

Are we there yet ?

4/3/20

Our lives are upside down and all around. Are you swimming, sinking, floating or out of the pool completely ? Maybe all , at all times like me ! I urge us all to notice, our default reactions to these stressful and uncertain times. This creates a base line for your awareness of needs. Nothing is normal these days with the global disruption down to our inner homes, and thats the gift. it is intensely uncomfortable in so many ways. From not knowing when to shower ? To feeling like a line cook at home with the never ending plates and food prep. To the uncertainty of our finances and the future of our systems moving forward. Being in , around, at the bottom or simply floating in the pool is part of this process. Can we enjoy the bits that bring us clarity and light as we learn to swim in this new reality redesigning how we relate to ourselves, others and our world? Can we also embrace the really exhausting days where there seems to only be darkness heaviness hovering over you within you and around you from that space the light is born. we come from the stars and having faith that those dark days bring us clarity and our future. To dance in and with the pool begin with safety every moment, every day, every breathe you take create safety for yourself.

Stillness in the times of COVID-19

Covid-19 has brought the world to it’s knees….

WHY … is the question we are all wondering about. What are we not seeing and can no longer ignore ? Are we free, or are we controlled by so much more than covid-19 ?

i saw a meme, that felt to be true…. “ i feel like mother earth is sending us all to our rooms for being assholes “

on a connection call with my colleagues and co-active community… MY mentors/ teachers called this time ‘ The Great Pause ‘ …. it felt so true. this is the time to pause, literally and figuratively in our entire selves and ways of being. What is my relationship to self ?

As i got steady on the new norm inward… i began to go outward, and deeply listening to what i had not seen so clearly.

It is also showing what no longer works for our system humanity has been following for centuries.

What is broken in our inequitable world with a severe imbalance to those affected with basic needs.

The universe is calling us forth to no longer hide. Behind schedules, achievement and hoarding. ITs exposing who we are truly Being in this world. The ultimate whole-human integration of self and our lives. from basic needs, to connection and relationship evolution who do you want to “ Be “ during this time, and when we come out of it, what will no longert be the same ?

emoto believes you are your own rock, and then you branch outward to immediate family, community, society and then the greater world.

i’m working on how i relate and deal with stress when there is survival energy and old traumas reactivating. some severe and some easier to release. These two weeks have been disorienting, scary, exciting and exhausting. In the crisis there is possibility to grow capacity.

The stability life relies upon is gone….

Our relationship with FEAR + UNKNOWN is our lense to the imprint on our system and experience.

What are you experiencing ?

What matters now ( for yourself, family, community, society, the world )?

What do i want more of ?